Dear people that follow this blog: today, I overcame my fear of airplanes and flying. I’m feeling ecstatic, as if I’m lighter, much more powerful, much more ME.
But let me explain to you from the beginning. I entered an airplane for the first time when I was 17 years old. I was with my sister and very excited about flying and traveling (it was our fist travel to Europe). The 4 flights were awesome. I loved everything and had no fear whatsoever — and from Brazil to Europe it’s a lot of hours in a plane.
I started to have a phobia about flying after my fist flight to Europe alone, when I was 20 years old. Maybe because this time, my sister wasn’t with me, or maybe because of a hundred little things that I have no idea about, I started to feel umcomfortable about being so high in such a heavy thing as an airplane.
I noticed with sorrow that I became phobic about flying. I was sad because I love traveling, and although I’ve never let this be a hindrance (I fly anyway), it spoiled me from a lot of joy about going in a trip.
I had this for many years.
Last friday, I traveled again, it was only one hour flight and I was anxious as usual. But today, when I was on the plane coming back home, something very unusual happened. I realized, up there, that I wasn’t anxious at all.
Actually, there were two flights, because we needed to make a connection. So, the plane took off twice and landed twice. There was turbulence, small, but still. And I was really having an awesome time up there. More than that, I was listening to music. During my phobic years, I spended my hours in a plane praying and paying attention to all the sounds of the plane. All the “dings” and “ruuuums” and noises — and there are many. Analizing the expression of the flight attendants. If they looked worried, I was worried. It was so stressful I could not listen to music.
But tonight, I listened to a lot of my favorite songs ever.
One, in special, I’ve listened to many times. I won’t tell which song, because maybe it won’t resonate with you, but it’s from one of my favorite singers.
The song has a “crescendo” and builds up energy, and there, up there, with my earphones and my eyes closed, I took flight. I became the plane. It was crazy. I felt as if the wings of the plane were my arms open wide, and my whole body encompassed the airplane (and everything and everybody in it!), and I just … glided. I flew. And then, I was a big, big bird, like an eagle or an harpy, and I was flying.
The feeling was indescribable. Such a freedom, peace, happiness, divinity. I felt a true love for everybody in that plane. It was like if I was embracing all of them in myself.
Sounds crazy, but it was really true and amazing.
I can eliminate “fear of flying” from my list of fears. There are some others to go, but I feel a nice feeling.
Time to fly higher I think.
Have a light week 🙂