Career and depression/anxiety

steve_jobs

Photo: brainfilledwithsoda

I believe that one of the most painful things I’ve went through during my depression and anxiety crisis was watching my career to sink. All the plans that you make when you’re younger, all the horizons that you’ve dreamed for yourself, they never happen. Instead, you live a hard daily life, full of duties, obigations, “shoulds” and “dont’s” and you often ask yourself what the hell have you done with your life.

I never know if I lost my career because I had anxiety/depression or vice-versa. Sometimes I think that my inability to thrive in my own professional area was one of the bigger origins of my struggle. It seems to be one of those negative vicious circles in which two or more problems feed each other incessantly.

I’ve managed to create a life around my issues, which I think is what everybody does. We adapt. I’ve managed to work from home, and altough this arrangement is not perfect, I feel that it liberated me to search for a true healing. I have the time I need to be with myself, to connect and to try different paths.

I think if you have anxiety/depression or any related issue that is messing your career, you’ll maybe like those tips. They are unprofessional, but very personal and honest:

1. Don’t blame yourself.

We listen to it so often, but it’s never enough. I’ve blamed myself so much and it just made things (much) worst. People around me also blamed myself and I used to listen to them. Don’t do this to yourself. If your career is fading, it’s not your fault, nor anyone’s fault. Maybe it’s the beginning of something new. You should listen to yourself carefully and never be judgmental. Don’t criticize yourself, and try to avoid people who love to point out how unable you are to lead your life. It’s unhealthy. Get away from them. Interesting is that, when you stop blaming yourself you also stop listening to those comments. So it’s inside you the power to do it.

2. Look for clarity.

For many years, I lived in a totally “auto-pilot” mode: waking up, having breakfast, going to work in a hurry, surviving during the day and arriving home so exhausted, sad and afraid that I could not even think about my problems. I felt so overwhelmed and had so many debts to pay that everything I could think about was to keep going. I couldn’t even think about meditation, because I simply had no time and because I was too sad and too tired. All I wanted to do is run away from the life I was living. It felt totally alien to me, and I couldn’t understand how I’ve managed to create such a terrible life for myself. In this point, I regret not being able to find the help I needed. I looked for therapy, but it didn’t help. I think that if I had looked for energy healing it would have spared me much suffering. I highly recommend that if you’re in this point, look for the advice of a certified energy healer or life coach. There must be a personal connection between you and your healer or coach, and you’ll know if it’s missing.

3. Listen to your intuition. 

I believe that is the hardest part. We tend to not listen to our intuition when we most need it. That’s because in the hardest periods of our lives, we’re lacking self-love, self-confidence, self-trust. And it takes a lot of self-love to follow your own heart. It took me ages and I’m still practing it. Remember that life is eternal and you can always start now to love yourself better. But let’s start right now, shall we?

steve_follow_your_heart

4. You know, money is not that important. 

If your’re in a job you absolutelly hate, leave it. The most part of my professional life – I’m very sad to say it – I’ve worked in jobs that I didn’t like. It feels like if my whole life I dated a man I didn’t love. It’s not honest, it’s painful and unhealthy. If you’re doing it for the money – we all do it at some point, I think – leave it. If you have debts like I had, and need to go on, do, but I beg you to start looking for things you love. Start a course in one area you do love and are talented for. Start to move toward your true goals. When I was in my last job, I did two online screenwriting curses, and used to read movie scripts at night, after work. If it gave me money? Zero. But I was happy to give my energy to something I loved. During my whole day, my energy was going to something I didn’t care for or even hated. You are your work. You must to be in love with it, it’s like marriage.

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Image: source

5. Remember that it’s a process.

Crafting a career you love is a process and it takes the whole life to accomplish. It doens’t “happen”. So, never give up. Like that beautiful speech in which Stve Jobs say “don’t settle”. I think it’s great to look up to people that inspire you and help you to believe that not matter how dreadful your life is right now, it’s never over. You can start again, and head to the right direction. And don’t forget to be compassionate with your co-workers and boss. If you’re unhappy in your job, you can bet they’re also suffering with this situtaion.

We have a word in yoga people talk about a lot, which is “dharma”. I don’t know exactly what it means, but it seems to be your mission, what you came here to do in this life.

Living our dharma is true bliss. We all have a dharma, so we’re all designed to have a blissful life.

“Don’t settle”.

Namaste.

PS: You’re maybe wondering why so many quotes from Steve Jobs. It’s because I’m a huge fan. Steve died 3 days before my birthday, in 2011, and I remeber that I cried for a whole week. I couldn’t believe when he died. It was just too soon. I felt orphan. Ane I believe I’m not alone in this. Look what someone tatooed in his/her own arm:

tatoo

Picture: Done by Nikko Hurtado/source

2 thoughts on “Career and depression/anxiety

  1. Thank you Alexander! I’ve seen your blog and you’re a pro 😀 Yes, I agree with this quote you mentioned, I tried so hard “to fit” in the career I’ve planned for myself that I didn’t realize that maybe my true Self was meant to something else.

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